Please help me tell all the single ladies you know, that if they ever wish to marry, they should marry a kind man. And please tell the young guy playing with his phone over there to make sure he marries not just any girl, but a kind one.

It is not enough that he is rich. It is not enough that he is brilliant and handsome. It is not enough that he is popular and the toast of many gatherings. It is not even enough that he preaches and performs miracles. If he is not a kind man, he will make your life miserable.

Kindness is a virtue that is becoming very scarce today. I will not stop telling the younger ones to seek for that virtue until they find it; and to remain single until they do.

Those who are married to spouses whose hearts are carved in granite understand what I’m saying. It is hell on earth when you are hooked for life to a man or woman who doesn’t care for your feelings; who cannot tolerate your weaknesses and doesn’t care for the tears you shed in pain; spouses who demand absolute perfection from their partners when they are far from being perfect themselves.

It is a terrible thing to be married to a man who doesn’t think twice before raising his hands or his voice against you any time you make a mistake. Or the woman who sees pain and anguish on your face due to a big disappointment you just suffered in life, and then casually tells you to deal with it and be a man, then switches on the TV to watch Telemundo.

“Become kind toward one another, compassionate, [tenderhearted], forgiving one another, just as also God in Christ has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32.

I have always thought that everyone who wants to marry should go to the School of Kindness. Unkindness is the root of selfishness that we see in the homes today. When one spouse’s heart is not tender towards the other, resentment builds up.

JOSEPH THE KIND

Consider Joseph, the betrothed husband of Mary the mother of Jesus. He found out that his betrothed wife was pregnant and he that wasn’t responsible for it. In that highly religious and conservative society, Mary had committed an unpardonable sin. Joseph should denounce her, shame her and cast the first stone at her execution.

But Joseph wasn’t just a religious man; he was also a kind man. Although he sincerely believed that Mary committed adultery, he decided that he would not destroy her. He refused to take the low path of vindictiveness and decided to ease Mary out of the betheothal. Here’s how the bible says it:

“But Joseph her husband, being a kind-hearted man and unwilling publicly to disgrace her, had determined to release her privately from the betrothal.” (Matthew 1:19 William’s New Testament).

A situation that would have brought out a million poisoned arrows in many a man against his wife brought out the sweet milk of divine kindness in Joseph. Men of baser sorts would have called the whole town on the hapless woman in a massive display of holy anger.

Not Joseph the Kind. He decided to protect Mary’s honour even when his own honour had been trampled on. God didn’t even bother to tell Joseph until after depositing the Miracle inside Mary, because He trusted that Joseph would handle the situation with kindness.

Is it a wonder that God chose this kind man to raise the Savior of the world?

Many family feuds and marital disquiet that my wife and I have been called upon to settle have had their roots in unkind thought and unkind words and unkind acts and unkind attitudes. People do to their spouses what they would never take from them.

Fire breathing husbands. Hell raising wives. Kids that are not raised in atmosphere of kindness. Why wouldn’t the nation be filled with murderous couples?

Recently, a woman stabbed her husband to death in his sleep on suspicion of marital infidelity. A man stabbed his wife to death for whatever reason. The home, designed by God to be a refuge from the storms, has become the very source of storms.

There are many men who treat their wives and children bad because why not. Unkindness has begotten bigger unkindness and we now have a generation of people with hearts and minds of stone. Sadists everywhere! Conservatively religious, even in dressing, but totally bereft of kindness.

We place so much premium on wisdom, on intelligence, on beauty, and even on strength, but none on kindness. It is too simple for us to appreciate, yet the lack of it is the cause of so much unhappiness. How many parents consciously teach their children to be kind?

See how young people viciously cut each other with unkind words on social media today. Young men and women who find comfort in making others uncomfortable. I pity the ones who will marry them!

My younger brethren, if you are going to get married, start today to cultivate kindness. It is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). Let the Holy Spirit take you to the school of Kindness. I have experienced unkindness from unkind people, and I have experienced kindness from kind people. It is a good thing when a kind man marries a kind woman.

THE KIND OF MEN AND WOMEN WE NEED NOW IS THE KIND KIND.