A young lady believed she had started to fall in love with a young man. They had met on a university campus and exchanged telephone numbers. Then there was a long break due to distance. The young man kept in touch. He began to text the lady regularly.

Beautiful words. Eloquent description of beautiful emotions. The more these flow, the more real the feeling of love grew. The way things flowed between them, the lady was convinced that they had a lot in common. Surely this was the stuff love is made of. Even though they didn’t do more than just exchange numbers on the day they met, the lady felt like they had known each other for decades.

Then came the day that both of them finally really met. The young man sat down with the girl he had been ‘text dating.’ The lady was prepared for a flow of affectionate words and eloquent description of feelings. She expected to hear intelligent words about things going on in the word. She wanted to see, hear and feel the words she had read in those numerous text messages, but guy was looking rather blank. He kept glancing here and there, or looking at his phone. He looked everywhere except at the lady sitting before him.

This happened three consecutive times.

Where are the loving words? thought the lady. It then dawned on him. This guy was pitifully deficient in communication skills. He was totally bereft of the things that engender emotional connection. He lived in his phone. When the lady said something, he answered in monosyllabic words. He could easily relate with virtual people, but couldn’t connect with actual people.

Let me tell parents who are still raising their children. Teach them communication skills. Teach them to see people as people and not as things. Encourage them to look people n the eyes when talking with them. Tell them to learn to smile and be polite. Tell them to concentrate when speaking with people and not keep staring at their phone. Tell them to acknowledge people’s presence and respond when greeted. Tell them not to look bored and frustrated when someone is talking to them and to respond to people the way they want to be responded to.

Spend time with your growing children. Tell them stories and encourage them to tell you stories, too. Teach them to engage their minds in debating issues with you and other people. If you don’t teach them to communicate well with the people and the world around them, you are raising an irritant that will never be able to develop a healthy relationship with other people. They will bully other people emotionally. They won’t understand why people aren’t coming around them. They won’t understand why they aren’t loved. Gradually, they will become embittered against the world and may even lose it completely.

Remember, what you do with your children is more important that what you do for them.